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Christmas Desserts Will Make You Live Longer, Says Satirical Study

Ultra-processed food studies can be made to say just about anything, even that desserts filled with butter and sugar are good for your health.

Here is your permission to indulge in delicious Christmas treats this holiday season: a study shows—nay, proves!—that yuletide desserts often use ingredients that have been scientifically demonstrated to lower your risk of disease and death. You will still die, as we all do eventually, but not quite as early if you devour a Christmas log.

Before you start baking, though, I need to point out that this study should be taken with a grain of salt, as it was written with tongue firmly planted in cheek.

A year ago, the British Medical Journal (BMJ) released  as part of its Christmas edition, an annual tradition where the journal publishes sincere research about zany topics. In it, four authors took on the recipes behind famous Christmas-themed desserts featured on the reality television show The Great British Bake Off—“in our opinion,” the authors write, “the greatest television baking competition of all time.” They wanted to look up their ingredients in the scientific literature to see if, on the whole, they were associated with health benefits or harms, which is how they came to the frivolous (though technically scientific) conclusion that, overall, you can have your cake and eat it too.

Christmas desserts didn’t use to be so sweet. As the authors mention, early Christmas puddings encouraged by the Roman Catholic Church in medieval England were stews filled with prunes, carrots, nuts, eggs, beef, and mutton. Not exactly something I’m eager to buy from my local bakery. Over the centuries, the protein content went down and delicious sugar levels crept up.

If you watch The Great British Bake Off, you may have seen Jon’s pecan and maple buns with candied bacon or Rob’s apple and cinnamon baked Alaska tarts. Are they any good for your health? The authors of the Ѵstudy mirrored the excess of the desserts you typically see on television by looking at the very top of an extravagant layer cake of evidence: not individual studies on the health benefits or harms of their ingredients, not meta-analyses of these studies, but umbrella reviews of meta-analyses. They thus performed, as the title of their study explains, an umbrella review of umbrella reviews of meta-analyses of observational studies. Still with me? The thing is that the health effects of, let’s say, butter have been studied so much, the evidence has been synthesized many times over. The authors here simply put the appraisals of the appraisals into a mixer and whipped them up into a cream of evidence.

Their paper is a lot of fun to read because it playfully teases you with the central problem it is commenting on. There’s an entire paragraph on Prue Leith’s chocolate yule log and why it’s wrong that it was described on the show as a Swiss roll subtly laced with Irish cream liqueur. “We are not convinced,” write the authors, “that this dessert adds to the ‘festive spirit’ because it would not be appropriate to ‘subtly lace’ a dessert that you serve to your family and friends with alcohol that increases your risk of developing liver cancer, gastric cancer, colon cancer, upper aero-digestive tract cancer, gout, and atrial fibrillation.” Of course, they parenthetically indicate the numerical relative risk increase after each disease to drive the point home with math.

When we look at The Great British Bake Off through this skewed scientific lens, we can come to all sorts of conclusions. Steven’s telephone cake has alcohol in it, which is bad, but also chocolate, which the weight of the evidence indicates is good for us, apparently. So, does the chocolate outweigh the alcohol? The authors looked at a total of 48 recipes for Christmas desserts featured on the show and judge that “the health benefits of most ingredients in The Great British Bake Off Christmas desserts outweigh the harms.” After all, many of the recipes called for fruits in one form or another, and fruits are good for us. “Any recipe with fruit,” the authors mention in passing, “even if it was only one berry, was weighted equally in terms of its protective effect in relation to the harmful effect of butter, even if it was four sticks!” They could have taken quantities into consideration, but where would the festive spirit be?

What we have just witnessed is scientific satire. This is exactly the sort of soggy science that gets exaggerated by journalists to tell us that eggs are bad one day, good the next, and yet evil again a year later. So much of research into nutrition is based on food questionnaires, which rely on questions such as, “In the last ten years, how often did you consume eggs weekly on average?” People’s diets change over time, and most of us can’t remember what we had for breakfast, let alone how often we’ve had eggs in the last decade. Plus, we may anticipate that the researchers think eggs are bad and adjust our answers to please them. Food questionnaires should be at the bottom of the scientific research food chain.

This umbrella review reminded me of an important paper that opened my eyes to some of the problems of scientific research: Jonathan Schoenfeld and John Ioannidis’ , in which they picked food ingredients at random from a cookbook and looked them up in the scientific literature to see if they were known to increase cancer risk or decrease it. The bottom line was that 𱹱ٳ󾱲Բcommon enough in a kitchen simultaneously caused cancer and protected you from it. Of the ingredients that had at least 10 studies behind them, only one was unilaterally shown to cause cancer and not protect against it: bacon. (Funnily enough, there was bacon in one of the Christmas desserts in the Ѵpaper, but the authors did not include it in their review “because it is not a proper dessert ingredient and the first author is vegetarian.”)

Back then, the flaw being highlighted was that scientists were making bold claims about food in their papers that were not supported by the data they had. The risks and benefits were exaggerated, and journalists were quick to further amplify them in the media, leading to mass confusion.

Here, we have a bit of festive satire that again demonstrates that food science can be processed in such a way that you can extrude any conclusion you want. Do you want to feel like you’re improving your health by eating an entire rhubarb cake? You can now point to this paper as justification!

Common sense needs to enter the recipe. We know that too much sugar is bad for us. We know that the mere presence of candied fruits in a cake does not make the cake healthy. We also know that food is not simply a way to health: it’s a social activity and a bringer of joy for many.

On the first page of the paper, the authors put together a three-fold answer to the question, “What does this study add?” It’s a great reminder that scientific findings—even from satire articles—have to be interpreted, and food science is especially prone to a wide diversity of interpretations.

Here is what the authors wrote, with a caustic wit worthy of the British reality show:

  • Social media: “You should eat Christmas desserts from The Great British Bake Off if you want to be healthier and live longer!”
  • Newspaper: “Can you have your cake, and eat it too? Study finds most Christmas dessert recipes from The Great British Bake Off might reduce the risk of death or disease.”
  • Real-life journal club: “This umbrella of umbrella reviews does not consider the complexities of nutritional epidemiology (eg, overall diet and lifestyle) and health, and therefore does not contribute meaningfully to the literature.

Like a Christmas buffet, you get to pick which conclusion looks the most appetizing to you.


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